Star Trek: The Motion Picture

BORING. I mean, it opens great. The first few minutes sort of give you the impression that this movie is going to be epic... ... and then the rest of it is best spent looking at your phone, cleaning your finger nails, watching linoleum curl, defrosting your freezer... ... finding anything ...

To be fair, this film does pick up quite plausibly from the television series. The characterisations are roughly the same, if somewhat older - and that does help give it some cohesion; but the opening scene goes on interminably. The premiss is stretched to breaking point and riddled with metaphors ...